When I was taking my shower this morning, my mind started to review what I have done in the past 8 weeks.
It has been 8 weeks of fully occupied life since university started. I will not use "busy" as the word to describe my past 8 weeks because "busy" is sort of negative wording for me. When you do something you like and fully occupied by that, would you describe that as "busy"? Well, different people have got different answer for that. The fully occupation is to a state that I haven't actually cleaned my room properly (eg. vacuum, desk cleaning, floor sweeping and mopping etc)-- usually I will clean my room on the very first day I reach Perth. My friends were shocked when I told them about the fact. In fact, it is just a 30 minutes business. Unfortunately, cleanliness is not on top of my priority list, ie I think that there are other important things for me to accomplish.
The 6 weeks pharmacy training was stressful and challenging for
me mainly because I don't have any practical experience. Thanks for patient lecturers and pharmacists who gave me chance and guided me throughout the process, I have learnt a lot--pharmacy knowledge, the way I learn and solve problems, the way I cope with pressure (still incompetent with "de-pressurisation"). Because it involved a third party, it is not a good idea for me to give examples over here due to privacy issue. With 6 weeks of continuous preparation and 2 weeks of intense revision, I passed my oral exam. Yeah!!! (a lot of things to learn indeed), ended up going out with friends to have dim sum to award myself.
Ragging wave of thunder storm has calmed down finally. My thought shifted again.
"I like pharmacy course, right?" I questioned myself.
"Yes"I answered myself.
"Then why am I so stressed when I am studying, aren't we supposed to be very happy to learn pharmacy stuff?" I asked myself.
"Yes, I enjoyed pharmacy stuff, when I come to think of exams, my head starts to become a pressure cooker"
"Aren't exams supposed to test your competency? you should be happy that you can test yourself on how much you know" I questioned myself again.
"If purely testing is okay for me, if the element of "pass" and "fail" are incorporated, I will be stressful"
"But, without a border line to determine pass and fail, how the school determines whether you are a competent pharmacist or not? Anyone can be a pharmacist."
So, I realised that it is a dead-ended questioning and answering session.
But, I do realise something. If I can change my mind from pursuing "a pass in exams" to "test your competency", I believe I can learn happily. Also, I also realise that the fact that one semester consists of only 12 studying weeks, I have to follow the pace set by university (unfortunately, I have no power to change the system, it seems that changing myself is the best way--with the condition that my passion is still with me along the process).
I like showering. Day time shower allows me to plan for my day; Night time shower enable me to review what have done on the day and how to do it better in the future. Sometimes, it is a place where I run away from reality =)
Zen Yang ANG
1228pm, 22-4-2011 (Earth Day)
Bentley, Western Australia
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